Category Archive: Self-Esteem

Jun 08 2016


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud 
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  Anais Nin

Dear Friends, Colleagues and Supporters,



After watching the Steve Jobs movie prior to my trip to China, I used my fourteen-hour flight to begin reading his book.  I find his thought process fascinating, although I understand how difficult he was to work for and with.  I just read the chapter entitled, “Reality Distortion Field (RDF).”  The definition of a Reality Distortion Field is “creating a new world through mental force.” The term actually came from a Star Trek episode but has been attributed to Jobs who used this method to inspire his team. One of the Apple employees said, “You did the impossible because you didn’t know it was impossible.” We certainly have experienced how Jobs and Apple achieved the impossible and have changed our worlds.  How many of you have an apple device – IPhone, IPad?
     So what does a “RDF” mean for you and me? It supports the idea that you are what you think and do?  Too often we have a desire or dream and we convince ourselves that it’s just not possible and it’s not going to happen. Is it really impossible or is it your lack of belief in yourself and the universe?
    What if you created your own Reality Distortion Field?  What if you so totally believed that it would happen that you began doing all the things that make it happen?  Want to try it?
     Begin by selecting something that you want but think can’t or won’t happen. Write it down in your journal or on a piece of paper in clear detail.  Which part of it do you think is impossible? Remember, it’s your thought process and lack of confidence or belief that may be making it impossible.
    Now look at your desire from your own Reality Distortion Field. Make a list of the steps that it will take to get there, create a timeline as to when you want your desire to become a reality. Find someone to hold you accountable to adhering to the timeline. Then BELIEVE, BELIEVE, BELIEVE and ACT, ACT, ACT.
     In the April issue of the OPRAH magazine, there are a group of women who are on a quest to get to their ideal weight and health. Some are tipping the scale at over 300 pounds.  Weight loss for most people always seems to be an impossible task. But these women are creating their own RDF by making a plan and sticking to it.  They are seeing themselves as successful, which is what a Realty Distortion Field is, believing in the impossible.
     Also in this issue there is an article by Martha Beck where she talks about playing the “Pennies from Heaven” game. Here’s how it works.  Select a sum of money that you believe can come to you out of the blue.  Write it on a piece of paper and then forget about it. One woman wanted $1000 and three weeks later received an $800 refund from a miscalculation on a retirement deduction.  The impossible just became possible.
      My Reality Distortion Field is that within the next three months I will be at my ideal weight and will have completed the first draft of a book I have wanted to write for a long time.
      If you would like me to help you with your Reality Distortion Field, send me an email and let’s talk.  Just like Steve Jobs, my passion in life is making a difference. Hope this newsletter made a little bit of a difference for you today.  I look forward to hearing from you.  Here’s to creating a beautiful Reality Distortion Field!

Permanent link to this article:

Sep 16 2014

The Change Challenge


    Change happens!  Seasons change, our age changes, jobs and careers change, our bodies change, and it goes on. For many of the changes, we have no control, and others are completely within our hands.  

  If you knew that by changing a few simple things that you could realize all your dreams and goals, what would you change? Why not begin now and take the CHANGE CHALLENGE?  Here’s how to begin.

Take a journal or piece of paper and make two lists.  The FIRST list is all the things that you HAVE TO DO!  Once the list is completed, look it over and see what you can eliminate.  Maybe you really don’t have to do some of the things you listed.  List number TWO is all about your wants.  What do you truly WANT to do.  Go for it and dream big,

  Now you are going to ask yourself – which of these applies to me?





     Review each of the four categories and then decide which one best suits your situation today.  To help you I have defined them in greater detail.


Change happens and then we are forced to make adjustments. What life circumstances have caused you to have to change? Are you in transition?  Be kind to yourself.  Then step back and take a look at what has to happen. Let be your guide.


There is nothing you really have to do, but there are things you want to do.  Look at your second list and move onto this page any actions that are appropriate.  Are they any items that made it to both pages?   “It’s Play time.”


Is there something in our life nagging at you?  You feel uncomfortable or unfulfilled?  You know that you have to change and you are ready to do it.  Look at your lists – move items from the list to this page.  “Let Passion by your guide.”


If you are at peace with yourself, then stop and smell the roses. You have nothing to change.  Each day say, “ I am at peace with my life.” How are you going to be peaceful?

      Now, look at your two lists, where can you place some of the items on your Have to and Want to lists.  In which category do they fit?

     Your challenge is to determine what you need, or want to do to feel more fulfilled and accomplished.   You will have 30 days to see a change.  Select something simple and easy, and make a commitment to change something every day.  

    YOU MUST WRITE DOWN WHAT IT IS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO ACCOMPLISH.  Then keep a log by posting what you did on this blog every day.  Everyone involved will be supportive and give you a big “Way to Go” as you move forward on your goals.

   Are you ready to begin?  Can’t wait to see all the wonderful stories.



Permanent link to this article:

Feb 15 2014

All for the Love of You


“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” Steve Maraboli
Dear Friends, Colleagues and Supporters,

    The biggest struggle in life is the struggle to know, embrace, and accept ourselves, with all of our faults. We are so quick to criticize ourselves for the slightest imperfection. What do you say when you look in the mirror in the morning? I had a friend who would look in the mirror and say “Hi Gorgeous!”  Have you done that lately?  Probably not!
Acceptance is key.  But then, how do we learn to accept ourselves when we can’t stop beating ourselves up about simple things, stupid things, things that will not change the course of our lives.

          “Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works
                miracles in our lives.”- Louise L. Hay
   How do we learn to love ourselves, here are some simple steps.
1. Know yourself – start a journal, join a group, explore
2. Be true to you – stand your ground
3. Respect yourself – others will too
4. Value you – you are the most important person in your life
5. Expand yourself – step out of your comfort zone.
When you begin doing the above five things, you will learn acceptance and love.  And because we are energy which is driven by our thoughts, our self-love and acceptance will change everything.  Our energy will shift, our attitude will change and people will notice.
It’s all good.  I hope that you take some time to reflect.
Tell me your best self-love story.
Declare today national love your day!

Permanent link to this article:

Sep 29 2013


“It may seem as if others can add to or take from, what you have and who you are, yet at the end of every day, what you have and who you are is entirely a function of your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations.”  The Universe


Isolation is a terrible thing.  Whether it is by virtue of your physical location or situation, or it is emotional, being cut off from the world produces a myriad of distortions about life.

Emotional isolation often results from a variety of circumstances.  Someone may say something that is very hurtful, which begins to erode your sense of self, ie: self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence and so on. This internalizing further causes you to begin to withdraw and stop socializing.  Before you know it you are completely convinced that you are not worthy, have no value and are filled with shame.

One of the worst cases of isolation results from emotional or physical battering.  Young women are most often the victims, with men comprising only 15% of the total battered community. No one deserves to be battered or controlled by another person. What is truly sad and disturbing is that the victim thinks that she deserves it because she has done something wrong.

Each month I host an Inspiration/networking breakfast where women share their inner most fears and anxieties. This past month, one woman talked about her nine-years of marriage as a battered wife. “Each time he hit me I would think that maybe it was because the floor wasn’t clean enough or that can done something else wrong,” she said.  “Because of the bruises, I hated to be seen in public and became very withdrawn.”

Fear, anxiety, shame, are just a few of the emotions that lead to isolation, not withstanding the bruises.  Once in that very dark place, your mind and thoughts begin to further distort reality causing a downward spiral into a very deep depression. You become your own worst enemy because you are afraid and ashamed to reach out and seek help.  The greatest fear is of being judged as worthless.

You are never alone! For every emotion that exists, there are thousands of people feeling it. We all experience negative thoughts about ourselves at different times for different reasons.  The best thing that can be done to regain a positive sense of “self “ is to talk to someone about it. Although our friends can be very supportive, sharing our innermost fears with them can sometimes make us feel far to vulnerable and exposed.


Fortunately today there are many places for you to go to get the help that you desire and deserve.  Don’t be alone and live in your own head with negative thoughts. Reach-out as there is always someone there to help you.  Our goal today and every day is to share our passion of Energizing, Encouraging, Engaging, and

Empowering you to learn that you are THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE! Always love you.




M.J.Waldock, 10/09


Fear, it paralyzes us to the core.

Our central being becomes trapped

in anxiety and doubt.

Caged like the lion we peer through

the bars at the outside.

Frantically pacing to understand

our dilemma and find an answer.

Always reaching through the openings

Grasping at the chance to gain freedom.

Open the cage, please, and let me out.


Marlene J. Waldock is an inspiration speaker and personal coach.  She is the former TV Host of NJ Business and has written a book of inspirational poetry.  For more information visit:

Permanent link to this article:

Apr 10 2013

Fighting the Critic Within



by M.J. Waldock


I think and think the whole day long,

About the things that can go wrong.

I think I’ve failed before I start

Which takes away the very spark,

To do the things I want to do

That haunt my sleep the whole night through.

What can I do to clear the path

Of obstacles that cause such wrath.

The boulders in my mind that make

The journey that my soul will take

A long and rugged road that winds

Forever twisting in my mind.

Where will it end, this bumpy road

When will I shed this heavy load?

Of always thinking of the worst,

I know I’m surely not that cursed.

I think I’ll step upon the path,

And meet the boulder with a laugh.

I can succeed, I know I can

Just think of where it all began.

A simple phrase from long ago

From one I thought was in the know.

Some tiny word so negative,

Is this the way we really live?

With other peoples doubts and fears

that stop us from our goals so near?

I think I will relieve my mind

Of thoughts, that merely waste my time.

I will begin the day anew

And take a very different view,

Of life that’s far above the road

And see myself without the load.

I think I’ll think the whole day long

Of how I’ll meet the cheering throngs

Of those who honor my success

For clearing out this ugly mess

Of thoughts, that made my day so dim

And made my dreams of life so grim

I think I’ll think and think again

About the ways I’m going to win.

And when those ugly thoughts arise

That cause my dreams to be disguised,

I’ll take a step upon the road

And start to move, however slow

Until I reach the finish line.

And then, I’ll know, it was my mind

That made me think the whole day long,

About the things that could go wrong.









Permanent link to this article:

Apr 29 2012

Realizing your dreams

A Little Star –  by M. J. Waldock

I wished upon a little star

Up in the sky away so far

To be the fairest in the land

And be the best at all I can.

To be upon the stage of life

A messenger to help end strife

To be a voice for those who need

Encouraging words to hear and read.

I wished upon a little star

Up in the sky away so far

To boost you from the ugly mire

And write the words that would inspire

To lead you through the maze of thoughts

And help you learn what you forgot

When stress upon you really mounts

You are the one who truly counts.

I wished upon a little star

Up in the sky away so far

That when I stood upon the stage

To share the words from page to page

I’d speak so very loud and clear

I know that you would surely hear

And cast aside your gloomy cloud

And take your place among the crowd.

I wished upon a little star

Up in the sky away so far

To teach you how to look each day

Into the mirror and always say

“I love you, you’re the very best,

Together we will pass the test.

And when the end of day arrives

You’ll know you have again survived

Because the friend within your heart,
Was with you from the very start.

I wished upon a little star

Up in the sky away so far

To write this poem just for you

So when you’re feeling down and blue

You’ll take the time to read it through

Then tell yourself, “I Do Love You!”

I wished upon a little star

Up in the sky away so far

That you would find this little poem

And pick it up and take it home.

I made this wish upon the star

And so I wished, and here you are.



Permanent link to this article:

Jan 11 2012



Were you celebrating the end of a great year, and looking forward to the 2012?        Or were you regretting all the things that you had not done?

Every year we look back with regret about the things we did not do, either in our      business or personal lives.  But we don’t have to do that.  We can take charge          and  begin this year with purpose and intention.




“Life is not a dress rehearsal. Quit practicing what you’re going to do, and just do it. In one bold stroke you can transform today.”  Marilyn Grey

When you were a child you had great aspirations about what you would be when you grew up.  As time when on, you let those dreams fade.  Close your eyes.  What dream did you let go? If you could have anything in this coming year and your future, what would it be?  If you don’t think about, write it down and then talk about it, you will not do anything with intention or purpose.


“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”  Nido Qubein

Sometimes before you can start something new,  you let to let go of the old.  Begin by answering this question.  WHAT WAS GOOD IN 2012?  You want to build on what was good and really worked.  Maybe you need to go back to basics and think about the things that have worked over the years.

Ask yourself,  what didn’t work?  Relationships that didn’t work, business ventures that didn’t work, clients that overworked and underpaid you.  Get rid of them.  Bring into your life all that is positive.


“You will never win if you never begin.”  Robert H. Schuller

What do you want for yourself in 2012?  Take a moment to write down your thoughts.  Then select the most import item on your list and write down three things you can do to not have any regrets at the end of the year.  You will never accomplish your goal in one step.  Keep trying. Stay focused.  Never waver.

Life is what YOU make it.  In the end, you are the only one responsible.

What is your dream?


Permanent link to this article:

Oct 06 2011

Reflections of a life

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life… Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition…” Steve Jobs.

We often talk about what makes someone successful. We say; Follow your dreams, live the life you desire and it goes on. But how many of us really do this, follow our dreams. We think we don’t have permission.

For the last few years we have watched the Apple corporation rise up from the ashes and launch one sexy piece of technology after another. An apple user from way back, I have many of them. In fact right now, we own 5 Apple computers, two IPHones and a few IPods. And they are all great. I remember when I began using my first Apple/Mac Plus, there were so many naysayers.

What makes one person be so focused and driven? Many people say that he was ruthless. I recently read an article in the NY Times that said, Steve Jobs relied mostly on his own instinct to create products. He did not have focus groups, he just knew what people wanted, sleek, easy to use, interesting pieces of technology. And even during his illness, which much have been debilitating, he still forged ahead.

So why can’t the rest of us do the same? Why do we stop and wait for something to happen before we begin following our dream. Is it that we listen to too many people?

In my workshops and breakfasts I often reference the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the four agreements is: Take nothing personally because it is never about you. That Noise of Others, those limiting beliefs stop us all too often.

Take a step and identify the noise, then label it and give it a name. Assign it to the person it be longs to and then toss it away. Be the person you are and don’t let anyone rain on your parade.

Life is certainly not perfect. And for many, their birthright gives them much more flexibility than others. As we look around us we see people who are barely hanging on, or living with major impairments, disfigurements and disabilities. I am so lucky to live a very good life.

I can only hope that we reflect on our lives, and the lives of those who make a difference in the world and understand this. Not everyone can be a Steve Jobs. Not everyone can create things that change the way people live. But everyone can be kind to themselves and others, and can make an attempt every day to do something that matters.

This was my facebook post from the other day. Enjoy.

Make everyday meaningful. Do something important that takes you closer to your dreams. Have fun. Love yourself. Tell those you care about that you love them – you never know when they may disappear from your life. Be thankful for everything – you probably have more than you think. Think about this – what would life be like if tomorrow you received everything you were thankful for today. Make it a great one.

Permanent link to this article:

Aug 23 2011

My Higher Power

Whether you are a writer, speaker, business owner, mother/father, daughter/son, friend, wife/husband, or any other role you have in life, you may be seeking strength. Look to your higher power and ask for help. This is my thought about how to do it.

I will soon find the words to express all my thoughts.

I trust that you will give them to me in every way.

Throughout the day you give me the strength to be just who I am.

I ask for your help to continue the journey.

Give me the desire to be all that I can.

The will to take the daily steps.

The love to soothe my lonely heart.

The angel to guard my life and soul.

The friends with whom to share the wealth.

The time to live with no regrets.

The love of my life to lie beside.

A mother’s love that never dies.

You give me all this in such a way,

I can go out and thrive in this day.

How has your higher power helped you? Share your thoughts.

Permanent link to this article:

Older posts «